Expressing Favor for our Children's Good Works

While it is important to affirm our children of their physical attributes, we are encouraged to affirm them more of their good works. We want to highlight the values that they have learned and make them remember that we have affirmed them. According to Ken Wilson, author of the The Obedient Child, he writes, "We look for opportunities to 'catch them doing it right.' And we let them know when we have caught them doing it right by saying, "Well done."

He further writes, "Instead of making a big fuss over things such as good looks or natural athletic ability, we should express our favor concerning the things that are pleasing to God." I was struck by this line since I noticed that I have a greater tendency to tell my kids how good they look in the clothes they are wearing or with their new hair. It's a natural reaction for me because I find pleasure in seeing my kids being presentable and just being cute. But I realized that it is more important to acknowledge their good works. One time, my 2 year-old, Sev, shared his chocoloate drink with his Mom. Remembering this point, we then took time to say, "I'm proud of you Sev for sharing your favorite drink." Then he gives me a big smile, knowing what he did is good.

Expressing favor is an important part of raising our kids. With a mix of discipline and affection, we hope to form our kids to become closer to the character of Christ.